No Pun Intended

I'm not sure what it is.  It's just my nature I suppose.  I like stupid jokes.  I'm a fan of the pun.  And apparently, a lot of people have a problem with that.  Chris demostrates by slapping himself on the forehead.  He's actually become so good at anticipating my cheesy banter, that he usually can finish my jokes.  Somehow, I think that's a little sad.  Perhaps I do have a problem.
But let's talk about something else.  Like the problem I have with people who lack a general intelligence.  Working with public on a daily basis, let me assure you, hands down, that Japan, Korea, China...pretty much any other industrialized country on the face of the Earth...is smarter than us.  They are winning a race that most Americans don't even realize is happening.  Have you seen what's going on with Dow?  It's only a matter of time.  The golden age is over.  So I hope you have your memories.  They might be all we have in 20 or 30 years.

Sorry.  Tangent.  Let's get back to those crazies I see everyday.  I work in retail management for an international chain.  Here's a brief look at stupid things people say:

1.  "This doesn't have a price on it, so it's free, right?"
What makes sense here?  Do stores give away anything?  Ever?  Do you feel that you are so extremely clever that I have yet to hear this?  As a fan of the lame joke, I'm not laughing.
2.  "You're not the manager, there's always another manager."
What makes sense here?  Yes, there is a chain of command.  But sometimes, the little guy really does have it right.
3.  "I know your policies.  I shop here all the time."
What makes sense here?  While frequent customers very well could learn policies from experiencing different circumstances over time.  Let's not forget that as a manager, I have kind of been WORKING here.  And, over 10 years in retail pretty much trumps even the worse shopaholics exposure to my job.
4.  "I will never shop here again."
What makes sense here?  Nothing.  I'll see you tomorrow, ma'am.
5.  "Where's the _______ department?"
        What makes sense here?  Is it that hard to look up and read the giant signs hanging from the ceiling?
6.  "Do you work here?"
        What makes sense here? Well, I'm wearing a name tag.  I appear to have keys and electronic equipment attached to me...OK, you caught me, I'm testing Elaine's plan to have everyone in the city wear name tags.  It will just make things more friendly.  And these gadgets, it's how I track the success of the program, I have to report in every 4 hours.

It's nice to know that, no matter what, you're going to laugh at work every day.  Maybe part of that is due to the amazing people I have the pleasure of spending my days with.  But if somewhere along the way I happen to throw in a terrible pun or extraordinarily lame joke.  Just smile, and be glad I'm not yelling.

Inadequacy

I don't know how to begin to explain it. It's just something deep seeded within my being. I don't value myself. Most people would never believe the issues that I deal with on a daily basis. They see the smile. They see the confidence. They think they know me. But they can't see past the plastic smile and crooked teeth. In actuality, each day of my life is a struggle. A struggle to beat down all the negative thoughts inside of me. A struggle to establish worth. A struggle to find meaning. A struggle to keep that smile. Some days it ends in utter frustration, some in disappointment, some in sadness. There are those brief periods of seeming bliss. And those are cherished. I hate myself for not having more days like that, but it's something beyond my control. It's who I am. I can't dictate the emotions within me. I can fight back, yes, but I can only push so far before they overtake me and I slump back to those melancholy ways. I'm not sure why I feel this way either. I have a good life. I found a man I love, someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm content in my career. I want for nothing. Yet, I still have these dreadful feelings that my existence is meaningless, serving no purpose.  It's in those moments that tomorrow feels like an impossibility. 

I know what you might be thinking.  "What a pity party!". And my response, yeah, a little bit. But let me assure you, sharing this is not something easily done. Cyber-hugs, while not nearly as warm, are equally as comforting. So, yes, you caught me. I want a little attention, something to make me smile.